GEORGE WOODWARD

 “Upon an Ugly Fellow, who Thought Himself Handsome, because the Girls Gaz’d upon Him So Much”

Poor Jack’s of late grown
The Talk of the Town,
The merest Self-Dotard in Fashion;
From a Sloven turns Smart,
And thinks from his Heart,                                                              5
He’s the Handsomest Man in the Nation.

If a Girl does but place
Her Eyes on his Face,
In order her Laughter to move;
The Fool seems in Anguish,                                                             10
Looks aside with Languish,
And concludes the poor Girl is in Love.

Come, Jack! then attend,
I speak as a Friend,
Prithee! never look out with that View:                                   15
Don’t think to prevail,
Where a Thousand may fail,
Perhaps, ten Times as Pretty as You.

Should You think e’ery Miss
In Love with that Phyz,                                                                        20
Who looks at You, as I may do now;
E’en think you’re a Bait,
And enjoy your Conceit,
By my Soul! you’ll have Lovers enough.

NOTES:

 3 Dotard “An imbecile; a silly or stupid person” (OED).

4 Sloven “An untidy or dirty person; a person who is habitually indolent, negligent, or careless with regard to appearance, personal hygiene, household cleanliness, etc.” (OED); Smart “A person who affects smartness in dress, manners, or speech” (OED).

11 languish “A tender or amorous look or glance” (OED).

13 attend “To turn one’s ear to, listen to” (OED).

15 Prithee “ ‘I pray thee’, ‘I beg of you’; please” (OED).

20 Phyz “A face or facial expression; countenance” (OED).

Source: Poems on Several Occasions (Oxford, 1730), pp. 150-51. [Google Books]

 Edited by Estrellita Rui