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William Hutton, “The Way to Get Married”

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WILLIAM HUTTON

 “The Way to Get Married”

 

Small matters on the stage I’ll bring,
A butcher’s boy is all I sing.
He’ll grace my page as much as any
He earn’d a groat, and sav’d a penny;
Then, rising by degrees, alone,                                                                   5
He purchas’d, slaughter’d, sold, his own:
This proves, that man, with little skill,
May rise to fortune, if he will,
“Get much–spend less,” increase his store;
Dame Fortune ne’er can keep him poor.                                                  10
Now stilliards, cleever, knife, must drop,
He swell’d beyond a butcher’s shop;
His talent had a fortune made,
“He’d try it in the silver trade.”
What man would not rejoice, to feel,                                                         15
To silver turn his greasy steel!
The same stroke which a penny got
Some thousands in his new trade brought.
Joseph was fam’d for doing good;
This art he practis’d all he cou’d,                                                                 20
And made each piece of English coin
Tenants at will, his pocket line;
Each one, in watchful silence lies,
For charity of every size;
What object of necessity                                                                              25
Could ‘scape a man so arm’d as he?
If neighbours quarrell’d, small or great,
Friend Joe stepp’d in to set all strait;
And gain’d, by tramping up and down,
Sometimes a thank, sometimes a frown.                                                  30
He ne’er assum’d the hypocrite,
His actions well would bear the light;
With manners plain, not made to charm,
Such as oft grow upon a farm;
Should Envy’s self his conduct scan,                                                          35
An honest bluntness marks the man.
Whenever he walk’d out abroad
His active gait industry show’d,
As if to Indolence he’d say,
“With safety you may march this way;                                                       40
The road is fine–may fortune speed you,
‘Twill never to repentance lead you”
Should right or wrong ways intervene,
Love prompts the heart, behind the scene:
Joseph, this subtle power can’t flee,                                                          45
Was captivated by Miss C.
A smile, a bow without much grace,
A little flushing in the face,
A tongue, attempting–this–and that–
The only time unfit to chat,                                                                          50
Five broken hems!–not uttered free,
Were introductions to Miss C.
Yet, spite of what the tongue can’t say,
Merit will often find its way:
His suit succeeded, all were eas’d,                                                              55
The mother, daughter, lover, pleas’d–
Till Mr. Kimberley stepp’d in,
A last-man, who shoe’d all the kin–
“Your servant, ladies–I heard say
Young Miss would throw herself away;                                                      60
Upon a Presbyterian too!
A dreadful prospect is in view!
From that vile race the Lord defend you!
He’ll sure a better husband send you.”
“He seem’d, by what we e’er could find,”                                            65
Says madam “sober, honest, kind.”
“Two sides a Presbyterian shows,
Both false, as any wind that blows.
Besides, your family has been
Staunch churchmen, for long ages seen.”                                                 70
When Joseph’s evening-visit came,
Then look’d askance the senior dame;
The daughter too, replete with ire,
Took that chair farthest from the fire;
And both, though Joseph waited long,                                                       75
Had lost the use of lips and tongue.
A working bottle, cork’d up fast,
Must gain some vent, or burst at last;
It then appear’d–O dreadful case!
That Joe a Presbyterian was.                                                                        80
“Pity religion,” Joseph cry’d,
“Meant to unite, should e’er divide.”
Our lover understood his trade,
To Kimberley a visit made;
“I find you work for Mrs. C.                                                                           85
I’ll thank you to make shoes for me.”
“O yes sir, none shall me excel,
Depend upon’t, I serve you well.”
The tide, and shoe-maker, now chang’d,
And backwards, through the channel rang’d;                                           90
He told the ladies, “he was glad
To find the swain the best of bad.”
Thus Kimberley began abusing,
Beause a customer was losing,
But chang’d his tone, when brought to view,                                           95
That marriage was securing two.
Could Joseph better luck betide?
A pair of shoes procur’d a bride!

NOTES:

4  groat  “Taken as the type of a very small sum” (OED).

11  stilliards  Possible variation to “steelyard” a lever with unequal arms that moves on a fulcrum (OED).

22  Tenants at will  Those who hold or rent property at the will or pleasure of the land owner.

46  Miss C–  Possibly a reference to Miss Sarah Cock, before she married William Hutton.

51  hems  A suggestive sound similar to a “hum” and “ha” (OED).

57  Mr. Kimberley  Possibly a reference to Mr. Grace, an acquaintance of Hutton who opposed his relationship with Miss Cock until he unexpectedly received money that was owed to him;  their affections angered Mr. Grace who “tried at separation” (The Life of William Hutton, 167). Only when he received money did he “become good-humoured and promoted the match all in his power” to which Hutton responds with the following: “Such are the wonderful effects of money” (167).

58  shoe’d  “Furnished or protected with a shoe or shoes” (OED).

61  Presbyterian In the eighteenth century, a protestant dissenter or non-conformist.  Presbyterianism in England traces its roots back to the sixteenth century and Presbyterians became powerful during the Commonwealth in their attempt to reform existing church hierarchy.  After the Restoration, the Act of Uniformity (1662) severely curtailed Presbyterianism in England, and lead to over a century of persecution.

70  staunch churchmen  That is, long-time Church of England supporters; Anglicans.

72  askance  “To turn away from or oblige a person to avert their gaze” (OED).

72  senior dame  “The eldest and most superior female” (OED).

92  swain  “A young man attending on a knight; hence, a man of low degree” (OED).

97  betide “To happen, befall” (OED).

Source: The Gentleman’s Magazine (July 1799), p. 606.

Edited by Adrianna Villasenor

Mary Masters, “On Marinda’s Marriage”

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MARY MASTERS

“On Marinda’s Marriage”

The Day is come, the mystick Knot is ty’d,
And HYMEN laughs upon the beaut’ous Bride.
Amidst her Maids, see gay MARINDA shine,
Newly conducted from the Sacred Shrine:
Great Heav’n, the wise Disposer of her Charms,                                  5
Consigns them to a happy Lover’s Arms:
Happiest among the Happy here below,
On whom th’ indulging Fates such Gifts bestow.

In fair MARINDA’s Person is exprest,
All that can most delight the Human Breast.                                       10
Motion its Charms in full Perfection spreads,
Where with a graceful Negligence she treads,
And Innocence, which might the First-born Pair
Adorn, displays itself in ev’ry Air.
Yet tho’ her Form has various Beauties join’d,                                     15
It yields in Beauty to her brighter Mind:
Amidst the Virgin Trains the first is nam’d,
For Wit, for Eloquence, and Virtue, fam’d,
When-e’er she speaks, who strives not to be near?
See warm’d Attention bend the list’ning Ear!                                        20
With still Surprise, see the fond Hearers gaze!
While ev’ry Heart beats Measure to her Praise:
Experienc’d Age may by her Youth be taught,
So sage Her Maxims, so sublime her Thought.

But lo! the happy Bridegroom now draws nigh,                           25
His Soul’s in Triumph and his Heart beats high:
A livelier Red inflames his am’rous Cheek,
And in his Voice the tend’rest Accents break:
With Looks erect, and with manly Air
He meets the softer Beauties of the Fair                                               30
The dedicated Nymph each Thought employs,
See from his Eyes the emanating Joys!
He seats himself with Pleasure by her side,
And looks transported on his blushing Bride.

Hail, wedded Pair! O may your Union prove                                  35
The brightest Pattern of Connubial Love!
And may this Day, select by smiling Fate,
Parent of Blessings in your Nuptial State,
Revolving often with the rolling Years,
Ne’er bring less Joy than what the present wears.                               40
Nor melancholy Cares, nor stormy Strife,
Trouble the Tenour of your future Life.

And when the tender Pledges of your Love
In Years to come MARINDA’S Form improve.
New Charmers (yet unborn) shall fire the Muse,                                 45
And endless Beauties endless Verse diffuse.

NOTES:

 2 HYMEN God of marriage.

13 First-born Pair Adam and Eve.

36 Connubial “Of or relating to marriage or a married couple”(OED).

Source: Mary Masters, Poems on Several Occasions (London, 1733), pp.17-20. [Google Books]

Edited by Donna Hang

Anonymous, “Reasons against deifying the Fair Sex”

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ANONYMOUS

 “Reasons against deifying the Fair Sex.”
By another Hand.

Madam, I own I was so smit
What with your Beauty and your Wit,
That I began, which very odd is,
To think of making you a Goddess;
I talk’d of building you a Temple,                                       5
And off’ring up for an Ensample,
My own dear Heart in low Prostration,
With all the Cant of Adoration.
But thinking closely on the Matter,
I’ve since concluded, ‘twoud be better                            10
You’d be above such Vanity,
And keep to your Humanity.

For first, if you a Goddess be,
What will become of Mortal Me?
Cloath’d in your Majesty Divine,                                       15
I tremble to approach your Shrine.
At awful distance, lo ! I stand
With quiv’ring Lip and shaking Hand;
Or beg, on bended Knee, to greet
With humble Kiss your heav’nly Feet.                              20
For VENUS can’t descend to any
So low as romping like—Miss NANNY.

Again, consider, shou’d you rise
To the high rank of Deities;
You cannot long support your Reign,                                25
Nor long your Goddess-ship maintain:
For you must know, Deification
Is brought to pass by Incantation;
By Words of elevating Sound,
From Lips of Lover on the Ground                                     30
Utter’d in Raptures; Flames and Darts,
Altars, Worship, bleeding Hearts,
Sun, Venus, Quintessence of Worth,
Extasies, Heav’n, and so forth.
Now when you condescend to wed,                                  35
And take the Mortal to your Bed,
One Moon has scarce her Period crown’d;
Ere the rude Creature turns him round,
And with familiar Airs of Spouse,
(Reverse of what he wont to use)                                        40
Treats you like one of this our Earth:
You, conscious of Your heav’nly Birth,
Th’ irreverent Liberty disdain,
And tell the Wretch “He turns prophane;
At this th’ audacious Thing grows hot,                                45
Calls you Chit, Woman, and what not?
Mumbling, in direful retribution,
Some other Forms of Diminution
Malign; your Glories vanish quick,
Olympus turns to house of Brick.                                          50
Instead of Cupids and the Graces,
Plain earthly Betty takes their places:
Your Altars (which who won’t recoil at?)
Change to Tea-table or a Toilet:
The Goddess sinks to Flesh and Blood;                               55
While Husband in the cooing Mood,
Gives you a Buss, nor cares who sees it,
And fondly cries, “My Dear how is it?”

Thus, Madam, not to keep you longer,
(For I can urge no Reasons stronger)                                    60
You plainly see, it is not fitting,
That you among the stars be sitting.
Wherefore, I think, you won’t desire
To leave our Species for a higher.
But be content, with what’s your due,                                   65
And what your Rivals think so too;
That, for soft Charms and Sense refin’d,
You shine the Pride of Woman kind.

NOTES:

Subtitle Unable to trace.

1 smit a poetic construction for “smitten”.

6 Ensample “An illustrative instance” (OED).

8 Cant “The special phraseology of a particular class of persons, or belonging to a particular subject; professional or technical jargon (Always depreciative or contemptuous)” (OED).

21 VENUS “The ancient Roman goddess of beauty and love (esp. sensual love), or the corresponding Greek goddess Aphrodite” (OED).

46 Chit “A person considered as no better than a child. ‘Generally used of young persons in contempt’ (Johnson); now, mostly of a girl or young woman” (OED).

50 Olympus “More fully Mount Olympus. The home of the greater gods and goddesses in ancient Greek mythology, traditionally identified with a mountain in northern Thessaly at the eastern end of the range dividing the Greek regions of Thessaly and Macedonia. Also in extended use: the home of the gods; heaven” (OED).

51 Cupids “Cupid, ancient Roman god of love in all its varieties, the counterpart of the Greek god Eros and the equivalent of Amor in Latin poetry”; Graces “Frequently the Graces were taken as goddesses of charm or beauty in general and hence were associated with Aphrodite, the goddess of love” (Encyclopedia Britannica).

52 Betty “A female pet name or familiar name, once fashionable (as in Lady Betty), but now chiefly rustic or homely” (OED).

57 Buss “A kiss, esp. a loud or vigorous one” (OED).

Source: Mary Masters, Poems on Several Occasions (London, 1733), pp. 206-10. [Google Books]

Edited by Lauren Cirina

[Catherine Jemmat], “The Rural Lass”

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[CATHERINE JEMMAT]

“The Rural Lass”

My father and mother, (what ails ‘em?)
Pretend I’m too young to be wed;
They expect, but in troth I shall fail ‘em,
That I finish my chairs and my bed.

Provided our minds are but cheery,                                        5
Wooden chairs wonnot argue a glove,
Any bed will hold me and my deary,
The main chance in wedlock is love.

My father, when ask’d if he’d lend us
An horse to the parson to ride;                                       10
In a wheel-barrow offer’d to send us,
And John for the footman beside.

Wou’d we never had ask’d him; for, whip it!
To the church tho’ two miles and a half,
Twice as far ‘twere a pleasure to trip it;                                 15
But then how the people would laugh!

The neighbours are nettl’d most sadly,
‘Was e’er such a forward bold thing?
‘Sure girl never acted so madly!’
Thro’ the parish these backbitings ring.                          20

Yet I will be marry’d to-morrow,
And charming young Harry’s the man;
My brother’s blind nag we can borrow,
And he may prevent us that can.

Not waiting for parents’ consenting,                                      25
My brother took Nell of the green;
Yet both far enough from repenting,
Now live like a king and a queen.

Pray when will your gay things of London
Produce such a strapper as Nell’s?                                   30
There wives by their husbands are undone,
As Saturday’s news-paper tells.

Poll Barnley said, over and over,
I soon shou’d be left in the lurch;
For Harry, she knew, was a rover,                                           35
And never wou’d venture to church.

And I know the sorrows that wound her,
He courted her once, he confest;
With another too great, when he found her,
He bid her take him she lik’d best.                                 40

But all that are like her, or wou’d be,
May learn from my Harry and me,
If maids wou’d be maids while they shou’d be,
How faithful their sweet-hearts wou’d be.

My mother says, clothing and feeding                                   45
Will soon make me sick of a brat:
But, tho’ I prove sick in my breeding,
I care not a farthing for that.

For if I’m not hugely mistaken,
We can live by the sweat of our brow;                            50
Stick a hog once a year, for fat bacon,
And all the year round keep a cow.

I value no dainties a button,
Course food with our stomachs allay;
If we cannot get veal, beef, and mutton,                                  55
A chine and a pudding we may.

A fig for your richest brocading;
In lindsey there’s nothing that’s base;
Your finery soon sets a fading,
My dowlass will last beyond lace.                                    60

I envy not wealth to the miser,
Nor wou’d I be plagu’d with his store:
To eat all and wear all is wiser;
Enough must be better than more.

So nothing shall tempt me from Harry,                                 65
His heart is as true as the sun:
Eve with Adam was order’d to marry;
This world it should end as begun.

NOTES:

12 John A literary name for a common or working-class man (OED).

17 nettl’d “Teased, provoked, out of temper” (Grose).

20 backbitings “Slanderous or malicious talk about someone not present” (Grose).

22 Harry May refer to a country man, a common name for “a waggoner” (Grose).

23 nag A horse, usually one that is old or sickly (Grose).

26 Nell Usually a name for a prostitute (OED); of the green A euphemism for sex before marriage (Grose).

35 rover “A flirtatious, promiscuous, or unfaithful man; an inconstant lover” (OED).

48 farthing “A former monetary unit and coin of the UK, withdrawn in 1961, equal to a quarter of an old penny” (OED).

53 dainties “Something good to eat, a delicacy” (OED); button “used in reference to something of little worth” (OED).

56 chine “The backbone of an animal as it appears in a joint of meat” (OED).

58 lindsey Alternate spelling of linsey, “a strong, coarse fabric made with cotton or linen, probably originally made in Lindsey, a town in Suffolk” (OED).

60 dowlass A type of coarse linen (OED).

67 Eve with Adam Refers to the biblical creation story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Source: The Gentleman’s Magazine (November 1750), p. 517.

Edited by Nicole Walker

William Hayley, “A Charm for Ennui: A Matrimonial Ballad”

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[WILLIAM HAYLEY, ESQ.]

 “A CHARM FOR ENNUI: A Matrimonial Ballad”

 Ye couples, who meet under Love’s smiling star,
Too gentle to skirmish, too soft e’er to jar,
Tho’ cover’d with roses from joy’s richest tree,
Near the couch of delight lurks the daemon Ennui.

Let the Muses’ gay lyre, like Ithuriel’s bright spear,                                          5
Keep this fiend, ye sweet brides, from approaching your ear;
Since you know the squat toad’s infernal esprit,
Never listen, like Eve, to the devil Ennui.

Let no gloom of your hall, no shade of your bower,
Make you think you behold this malevolent power;                                        10
Like a child in the dark, what you fear you will see;
Take courage, away flies the phantom Ennui.

O trust me, the powers both of person and mind
To defeat this sly foe full sufficient you’ll find;
Should your eyes fail to kill him, with keen repartee                                       15
You can sink the flat boat of th’invader Ennui.

If a cool non-chalance o’er your sposo should spread,
For vapours will rise e’en on Jupiter’s head,
O ever believe it, from jealousy free,
A thin passing cloud, not the fog of Ennui.                                                          20

Of tender complainings though love be the theme,
O beware, my sweet friends, ’tis a dangerous scheme;
And tho’ often ‘tis try’d, mark the pauvre mari
Thus by kindness inclos’d in the coop of Ennui.

Let confidence, rising such meanness above,                                                   25
Drown the discord of doubt in the music of love;
Your duette shall thus charm in the natural key,
No sharps from vexation, no flats from Ennui.

But to you, happy husbands, in matters more nice,
The Muse, tho’ a maiden, now offers advice;                                                    30
O drink not too keenly your bumper of glee,
Ev’n ecstasy’s cup has some dregs of Ennui.

Though Love for your lips fill with nectar his bowl,
Though his warm bath of blessings inspirit your soul,
O swim not too far on rapture’s high sea,                                                          35
Lest you sink unawares in the gulph of Ennui.                          

Impatient of law, Passion oft will reply,
“Against limitations I’ll plead till I die;”
But Chief Justice Nature rejects the vain plea,
And such culprits are doom’d to the gaol of Ennui.                                           40

When husband and wife are of honey too fond,
They’re like poison’d carp at the top of a pond,
Together they gape o’er a cold dish of tea,
Two muddy sick fish in the net of Ennui.

Of indolence most ye mild couples beware,                                                     45
For the myrtles of Love often hide her soft snare;
The fond doves in their net from his pounce cannot flee,
But the lark in the morn ’scapes the daemon Ennui.

Let chearful good-humour, that sun-shine of life,
With smiles in the maiden, illumine the wife,                                                   50
And mutual attention, in equal degree,
Keep Hymen’s bright chain from the rust of Ennui.

To the Graces together O fail not to bend,
And both to the voice of the Muses attend,
So Minerva for you shall with Cupid agree,                                                       55
And preserve your chaste flame from the smoke of Ennui.                 

NOTES:

 5 Ithuriel’s bright spear From John Milton’s Paradise Lost (1667). The Angel Ithuriel touches Satan (disguised as a toad) with his spear “which ‘no falsehood can endure,'” and his true form thus revealed, Satan is cast out of the Garden of Eden (Oxford Dictionary of Reference and Allusion).

7 esprit Spirit.

17 sposo Spouse.

18 Jupiter Roman god of sky and thunder. Leader of the Roman gods.

23 pauvre mari Poor husband. (Oxford French-English Dictionary).

27 duette Duet.

40 gaol Jail.

52 Hymen Greek god of marriage.

55 Minerva Roman goddess of wisdom.

Source: The Gentleman’s Magazine, vol. 53 (April 1783), pp. 693-94.

 Edited by Megan Kwong

Richard Jago, “The Blackbirds”

RICHARD  JAGO

“The Blackbirds”

 

The sun had chas’d the mountain snow,
And kindly loos’d the frozen soil,
The melting streams began to flow,
And ploughmen urg’d their annual toil.

‘Twas then, amid the vocal throng                                      5
Whom nature wakes to mirth and love,
A blackbird rais’d his am’rous song,
And thus it echo’d through the grove.

O fairest of the feather’d train!
For whom I sing, for whom I burn,                               10
Attend with pity to my strain,
And grant my love a kind return.

For see the wintry storms are flown,
And gently Zephyrs fan the air;
Let us the genial influence own,                                           15
Let us the vernal pastime share.

The raven plumes his jetty wing
To please his croaking paramour;
The larks responsive ditties sing,
And tell their passion as they soar.                               20

But trust me, love, the raven’s wing
Is not to be compar’d with mine;
Nor can the lark so sweetly sing
As I, who strength with sweetness join.

O! let me all thy steps attend!                                                  25
I’ll point new treasures to thy sight;
Whether the grove thy wish befriend,
Or hedge-rows green, or meadows bright.

I’ll shew my love the clearest rill
Whose streams among the pebbles stray:                      30
These will we sip, and sip our fill,
Or on the flow’ry margin play.

I’ll lead her to the thickest brake,
Impervious to the school-boy’s eye;
For her the plaister’d nest I’ll make,                                          35
And on her downy pinions lie.

When, prompted by a mother’s care,
Her warmth shall form th’ imprison’d young;
The pleasing task I’ll gladly share,
Or cheer her labors with my song.                                      40

To bring her food I’ll range the fields,
And cull the best of every kind;
Whatever nature’s bounty yields,
And love’s assiduous care can find.

And when my lovely mate would stray                                      45
To taste the summer sweets at large,
I’ll wait at home the live-long day,
And tend with care our little charge.

Then prove with me the sweets of love,
With me divide the cares of life;                                           50
No bush shall boast in all the grove
So fond a mate, so blest a wife.

He ceas’d his song. The melting dame
With soft indulgence heard the strain;
She felt, she own’d a mutual flame,                                             55
And hasted to relieve his pain.

He led her to the nuptial bower,
And nestled closely to her side;
The fondest bridegroom of that hour,
And she, the most delighted bride.                                      60

Next morn he wak’d her with a song,
“Behold, he said, the new-born day!
The lark his matin peal has rung,
Arise, my love, and come away.”

Together through the fields they stray’d,                                    65
And to the murm’ring riv’let’s side;
Renew’d their vows, and hopp’d and play’d,
With honest joy and decent pride.

When oh! with grief the Muse relates
The mournful sequel of my tale;                                            70
Sent by an order from the fates,
A gunner met them in the vale.

Alarm’d the lover cry’d, My dear,
Haste, haste away, from danger fly;
Here, gunner, point thy thunder here;                                         75
O spare my love, and let me die.

At him the gunner took his aim;
His aim, alas! was all too true:
O! had he chose some other game!
Or shot—as he was wont to do!                                            80

Divided pair! forgive the wrong,
While I with tears your fate rehearse;
I’ll join the widow’s plaintive song,
And save the lover in my verse.

NOTES:

7 blackbird Common Eurasian thrush, noted for its melodious song (OED).

14 Zephyr The west wind.

29 shews Period spelling of “show.” A rill is a small stream.

33 brake A thick stand of bushes or briars.

35 plaistr’d Period spelling of plastered.

36 pinions The terminal segment of a bird’s wing, bearing the primary flight feathers (OED).

57 bower A term for abode or cottage.

63 matin peal “Matin” is French for spring; “peal” is the ringing of a bell.

66 riv’let Rivulet, a small river or stream.

Source: Bell’s classical arrangement of fugitive poetry (London, 1789), vol. VIII, pp. 103-106. [ECCO]

Edited by Phillip Barron