“The Dry Joke”
God Bacchus well warm’d,
With Beauty was charm’d;
And Cupid’s bright Mother addrest.
She cry’d, you are silly ——
I hate you — nor will I 5
Be thus by a Toper carest.
Thus slighted the God,
With an angry Nod,
Said , Adieu to you, Madam — in vain
You’ll try to allure me: 10
Your Pride shall secure me,
From Courting coy Beauty again.
What Bacchus then spoke,
She hop’d was in joke:
And again Wine and Love wou’d agree. 15
But he, as malicious
As she was capricious,
Her Error soon made her to see.
For Nymphs sweet as May,
All met at a Play; 20
Where each was as fine as a Queen.
In each lovely Creature,
Art yielded to Nature;
Tho’ deck’d all in Jewels are seen.
Apollo was there, 25
To charm e’ery ear;
But (what a mild Dove wou’d provoke.)
The Beaus who appear’d on
The Stage, slily lear’d on;
And left the fair Circle to choke. 30
Now Venus in vain,
Does to Bacchus complain,
That Beauty was dying with thirst.
The God reply’d, smiling,
Her Coyness reviling —— 35
Why did you provoke me then first?
O ye Ladies, beware,
Be as kind as you’re fair;
Nor requite your fond Slaves with disdain.
A Lover defeated, 40
With vengeance is hated;
And Mischief still runs in his Brain.
1 Bacchus “The god of wine” (OED).
3 Cupid “In Roman Mythology, the god of love, son of Mercury and Venus” (OED).
6 Toper “One who topes or drinks a great deal; a drunkard” (OED).
25 Apollo Greek god of sun, light, music and poetry.
28 Beaus “A man who gives particular, or excessive, attention to dress, mien, and social etiquette; a dandy” (OED).
31 Venus The ancient Roman goddess of beauty and love.
SOURCE: A Miscellany of new Poems, on Several Occasions (London, 1736), pp. 56-58. [Google Books]
Edited by Ivan Li